What not to talk about with customers at the strip club

Oops! I did it again! 

I overshared with a customer and now he doesn't want to give me his money!

It sucks.  But we’ve all done it, haven’t we?

Nothing hurts more than realizing you’ve been sitting there with someone’s dad for the last 30 minutes ….with no more money in your pocket than when you started. 

So, BEFORE you’re back at the club (and possibly back in this scenario) let’s talk about what NOT to talk about with customers!

1. What’s wrong today…

I mean it! When you’re at the strip club you’re selling a fantasy.

You can sell the fantasy that your day is always going great…or you can lose money all day long by using your customers as free therapists.

Your customers do not need to hear your complaints, excuses, or annoyances - they came in here to escape from their own! 

Instead of getting stuck in the habit of venting at your customers, check in with yourself about what experience they’re getting! 

  • Are you keeping the conversation interesting and engaged?
  • Are you paying attention, or looking away or at your watch?
  • Is your tone “substitute teacher giving an assignment”?

Just to be clear, not saying you can’t experience tough emotions at work. We all do.

But when you’re there to work, bringing in your problems, complaints, annoyances, and fears into the conversation only accomplishes one thing: creating more problems for you!

Like, for example: this dude is no longer going to give you his money! 

If you’re struggling with keeping conversation on a light note when it’s your turn to speak, then give your customer more opportunities to steer the conversation.  

Ask open-ended questions, have pre-planned jokes and lines, and focus on giving friendly and welcoming body language.  Fake it until you make it. 

2. Sh!t about your co-workers!

I know, right? Why would you do this? Why would anyone do this?

You’re having a day.

You’re not paying attention to what you’re saying.

And then - a comment comes out of your mouth.

Or, a manipulative customer gets you to answer something like: 

“what girls don’t you like?” or 
“are any of these girls mean to you?” or….
”what’s up with that manager”

And suddenly, your mouth is moving….DON’T DO IT TO YOURSELF!

Hear it from me before you find out at the club: CUSTOMERS ARE TATTLETALES! They’re snitches! They are tea-spilling, cheese-eating gossips!

If you walk around talking poorly about the management, about the floor staff, about other dancers, it is going to get around to them.

I’ve flown across the country just to run into a DJ that knows a DJ that works at my last club...and you better believe they’ve got a groupchat! 

So don’t let yourself (or anyone else) step in your way by gossiping about the people you have to see every shift! 

3. You(r real) self!!!

I want to tell you a story about my first year dancing. 

I had this customer who came in and spent hours and hours in VIP with me.  He said he wanted to come back, and I was thrilled! 

So of course I gave him my real number - so he could tell me when he was back in town.

…well, guess who came to the club a few weeks later with my name, my last address, and identifying information about my school and loved ones!

By the way, did I mention I wasn’t even out as a stripper yet?

That was TERRIFYING! And I am so, so lucky he never did anything with that information! 

Don’t fall for the same mistake!

Customers do NOT need to know:

  • Your real phone number 
  • Your high school/college 
  • Your hometown (if it’s small and you were memorable) 
  • Your personal social media
  • Anything that could identify you without your consent!

The most manipulative and controlling people can come off as kind and willing to help you when you first meet!

And even after time, when something goes wrong or there’s a fight, you do not want an angry regular to have any information that could hurt you! 

Be so, so careful with what you share. 

And prevent these awkward interactions by getting a burner number (apps like Hushed and Burner are great for this) and coming up with a backstory that’s believable - but omits important details. 

4. Your money! 

You want to lower the value of your time? 

Start talking about your money!

Whether you brag about how much you’ve made already...

(what he’s thinking: “wow, looks like I can’t afford this/looks like she doesn’t need it as much as I do”) 

or you complain about how little you’ve made.

 (“what he’s thinking: “what’s wrong with her? Why is no one else spending money?”)

Either way you’re making it easier for your customer not to pay you! 

And, by the way, you’re devaluing their experience.  They’re here to relax and to have a great time. 

That’s a privilege they should pay for, of course - but you won’t get him to pay for that if what he’s fixating on is your salary instead of his potentially positive experience.

And finally, part of that great experience means… 

5. Don’t talk about yourself (the entire time)! 

You are interesting, and unique, and delightful.  

It’s why your customer wants to hang out with you.

But you are not the star of the show right now.

Your customer is paying you so he can be the star.  

Your customer is paying for your attention.

And the more you make it about you, the less it’s worth to them to keep going.

Believe me, if a customer wants to hear about you, they will ask. 

They will be fascinated and interested in everything you’ve got to say.

But even more interesting and important to them is...themselves! 

So, if you’re not 110% sure the next thing you’re about to say will be more interesting to your customer than themselves...check in!

Ask what they want to talk about. What’s on their mind.  What their preferences are.

Not only does this set you apart for 99% of people they interact with everyday (and in the club), it will make VIP rooms, chats, and even dances so much more rewarding for everyone involved- and up the perceived value of your time to them! 

Of course, there are always exceptions to rules…but keeping these topics off the table will, in the long run, make a huge difference in how customers engage with you, and in how much they’re willing to buy from you!

I hope these are helpful, and if you’d like to learn more about building rapport with customers join us for 10 Sales Commandments!  

10 Sales Commandments - Racks to Riches


1 comment

  • Leah Warren

    This, all of this 💰

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